Growing up as a self-proclaimed geek, dork, and nerd, has taught me many things. In fact, major (and minor) life lessons one could equate to whether you succeed or fail at world domination (for example), are often overlooked. I, however, believe these are valuable assets and should be praised for their overall effectiveness in successfully completing the game of life (not the board game people).
Life Lesson #1 – There is ALWAYS going to be a paper trail.
“Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.” -Rorschach, The Watchmen
You might think you can get away with creating and causing a revolution for ultimate peace but son (or daughter); you better make sure there isn’t any truth seeking vigilantes on the prowl, journaling their every move (and yours).
Life Lesson #2 – Being a princess isn’t all about waiting for prince charming anymore.
“You can’t marry a man you just met”. – Elsa, Frozen
Times have changed and Disney female protagonists are now as full of guts and glory as their male counterparts. No longer are we preordained to be the passed out princess’ awaiting true loves kiss, but we can be the glorious and glamorous goddess’ we were originally entitled to be all along. When it comes to choosing between being desired by a charming man or our happiness, in the wise words of Elsa, we’ve learned to “let [him] go”. (okay, so I kind of changed it.)
Life Lesson #3 – Each part of the world has its unique challenges.
“Here we go!” – Mario
Also, some men will do anything for the love of a great woman (even plumbers). So grab onto your brother because the worlds are your oysters. Don’t forget to smash your head against all kinds of bricks, jump into random sewage tunnels, and climb all kinds of flagpoles because you never know what you could be rewarded with. It is imperative that I also mention the fact that bros (not the italian kind, okay but actually the real italian kind) help out hoes.
Life Lesson #4 – Appearances can be deceiving.
“It’s a trap” – Admrial Ackbar, Star Wars
Sometimes you may think you have the upper hand, in any particular situation. Whether it’s sleeping in carcasses, chilling with giant teddy bears that think you are a God, or hurtling through the universe battling giant spaceships; don’t be a gonk droid (lego star wars) trust your gut instinct. You might have a crush on your sister or figure out that the sulking emo black storm trooper is your father. Eventually you have to choose which side to align with! So choose wisely. No pressure though, it’s not like your life depends on it or anything.
Life Lesson #5 – Power, courage and wisdom are the three virtues of life.
“If a person who has an evil heart gets the Triforce, a Hero is destined to appear… and he alone must face the person who began the Great Cataclysm. If the evil one destroys the Hero, nothing can save the world from his wicked reign. Only a person of the Knights Of Hyrule, who protected the royalty of Hylia, can become the Hero…” – Legend of Zelda
A “Spiritual Realm” (like heaven!? or something) supposedly holds a Triforce which is the source of power, courage, and wisdom. The tricky part is that anyone who is deemed worthy can get into it (kind of like heaven!) and because the Triforce (which holds all three sources of virtue) doesn’t have a will of its own, whoever gets parts of it, defines its use (becomes God). Thieves that are big with broad shoulders and a bad attitude might swoop in and take ownership of what may or may not rightfully belong to them but just remember, good guys exist too and they will do whatever they can to keep the pieces in the right hand. (Wow! The legend of Zelda sure does inspire a lot of religious connotations for me.)
Life Lesson #6 – Even if you are born a prophecy child, you need an entourage.
“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter
Once upon a time, a tall lanky man with a melted face (who shall not be named) tried to rip the world as we know it apart. Luckily, brains, bravery and brotherly love did its best to fight the powers of black magic. Wizards, witches, sorcerers, and muggles, got together in order to protect the chosen one, who would inevitably defeat “he who shall not be named”. A tale which shows that without each other, we are destined to fail at the greatness which awaits each of us individually. The road is best traveled as a team. So hold on tightly to your wands and “Avada Kedavra”!
Life Lesson #7 – A piece of jewelry can really cause a whole lot of chaos.
“One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings
Put a ring on it? No, thank you! I’d rather throw myself into a volcano erupting with fire, isolate myself in a cave for ages without human contact, or walk never endingly through fields of tall grass, than ever have the burden of some jewelry. It’s just not worth the psychological torment of owning it. Thanks but no thanks. It’s all yours, really! (I insist.)
Life Lesson #8 – Misfits make the best avengers.
“To Homo neanderthalensis, his mutant cousin, Homo sapiens, was an aberration. Peaceful cohabitation, if it ever existed, was short-lived. Records show, without exception, that the arrival of the mutated human species in any region was followed by the immediate extinction of their less-evolved kin” – Professor X, X-Men
Professors who run schools for gifted people are all kinds of crazy. So are the students. The halls and classes are filled with freaks and geeks of all natures; (and not just your average awkward, pimply, gangly types, like I myself) however, there is an overwhelming abundance of talent that can be used for the greater good. Watch out who you pick on though, you might have them become you and then steal your date to the dance…or something much worse. (There is absolutely nothing worse than losing your date to the dance in high school but, wait, I wouldn’t know. No one ever went with me! But I digress!)
Life Lesson #9 – Women work well together! (Pffft unless you’re planning on stealing my non-existent date to the dance.)
“Jedite: It’s a shame you’re all so young you’ve hardly time to enjoy your life. And now, it will be over! Sailor Moon: No way. Someone as pretty as this, has to live a long life. She owns it to the world. Sailor Mars: Who are you talking about, Sailor Moon? Sailor Moon: Me, of course. I’m easily the prettiest of the three. Sailor Mars: Ah, and what’s your best feature? Sailor Moon: My face. Just check out this beautiful nose. Sailor Mars: I’ve seen gorillas at the zoo that are prettier than you are. Sailor Moon: Oh, how dare you! Sailor Mercury: Get a grip, you two. Remember what’s happening. Sailor Moon: Oh yeah. You’re right. Sailor Mercury: If we’re going to beat Jedite, we’ve got to really stick together. All right? Jedite: Enough chitchat, girls. It’s time for battle! ” – Sailor Moon
But actually, it isn’t always easy and there are indeed moments where jealousy and envy can have us at each other’s throats. What’s important to remember is that what we are capable of as a team is beyond comparison (I mean, remember the Spice Girls, TOTAL girl power!). Women are able to hear each other needs clearly and execute a flawless level of compassion for one another, as well as kick ass. So represent fellow geek girls! (We rule!)
Life Lesson #10 – Being a mother is badass.
“Woman?” She chuckled. “Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man.” Dany met his stare. “I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, khaleesi to Drogo’s riders, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.” – George R.R. Martin, Game of Thrones
Especially, if you are the mother of dragons! If ever you want to take over the world, as long as you have unconditional love from fire breathing beasts (or beasts of any kind for that matter), you are probably going to take home the win. Despite the impervious challenges thrown your way (normal human mothers deserve medals for life too) from different lands all over the map, stick to your family and be the strong pillar that holds them all together. It’ll be worth it when those bad boys (or girls) grow up! So to conclude this game of life extravaganza, I’ll simply say that whether you are fighting a tall lanky melted face “he who shall not be named” or a rich Egyptian artifact collector who dumps a giant nuclear alien onto part of the world, fret not (okay maybe fret at a little at that point). You now have the knowledge required to defeat whatever evil force may trickle onto your marauders map.